So recently I've been having some trouble getting myself to school and doing all of my work. I know I am a better student than this, but I've let myself fall behind.
So today is the I change that. I am going to stop lagging and making excuses to get away from homework. I am going to just bury myself in my work. These are my last semesters of school and I want to make it worth something. I want to graduate happy, not regretful.
My senior project is a lot of work since I have to read a bunch of books and then write these two page reflections on the books, but I know I can do it. I really wish I had a study buddy though; someone who was very work oriented and kept me in line. It seems that all the people I know are just as bad as I am.
I think I need to meet some new people, better students and then do like a study group thing with them. If I can pick up their good study habits, then I think I might be okay.
Also, I wanted to tell you that there is this guy I met at dogpark, he seems really nice but I can tell he has a lot of dependency issues and is somewhat lazy. He's not what I want to be around. Also, he's not really what I'm into. I keep getting guys that I don't like, and then whoever I do like doesn't like me. Maybe I'm looking in the wrong places, but whatever. Anyways, I feel bad for this guy. I have no problem being his friend, but I can't date a guy like him. I've already told him that I'm not into dating or relationships right now, which is true, but I still feel bad for turning him down. I know that he was really hoping this was going somewhere.
I really am just over the whole love business. I've come to a point where I don't like being close to people, and I think that's a wall I've built up to keep away from people, but right now I don't enjoy being close to anyone and anyone who tries to be close to me just makes me want to ignore them.
I think I have a lot of work to do on myself at some point to learn how to be close to people again, but right now I'm happy being alone; it's simple and quiet. I don't want to have to talk to anyone every day or see anyone every day. Life is very good as it is right now.
Anyways, I hope you're doing well. Talk to you soon.
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