I Don't think you were rambling so I think you're okay. Haha.
It is very possible that he was not my person, he is probably with his person and I'm just being silly.
The only reason I think he could have been my person was because of what we had, and how he is at the bottom of everything. Clearing away all the smoke in my head and really getting down to the bottom and finding out it's him feels like it should mean something to me. Granted, as human beings, we are programmed to search for meaning in things, I still want to believe there is meaning.
Why after all this time, do I still feel this way?
I think there is probably some great reason as to why he is still in my head, but for now I am just going to let him be there. And maybe he'll go away, if I'm lucky. Like I said, there's nothing I can do about it now. It's a storm and I just have to learn how to dance in the rain. I know things will get better, I'm just not working hard enough. I guess I can say I'm still a little smoky, and I may have some more clearing to do, but we'll find out when that comes.
I guess if there's anything you could do for me, it would be to just find out how he's doing. Just to make sure he's doing well. I feel it inappropriate to talk to him at this time. It eases my pain and makes me feel happy, when I know that he is happy.
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